Washington, D.C – Today the GOP successfully voted to gut the controversial Rocket Jumper healthcare bill that would take a percentage of the military’s rocket launcher budget and apply it to providing soldiers who had lost limbs, as a result of rocket jumping, with prosthetics.

In recent years, the military has had to resort to rash and kamikaze style tactics such as Rocket Jumping, to meet the rapidly evolving battlefield. We spoke with one veteran who was a double amputee as a result of Rocket Jumping.

“They [The generals] told us rocket jumping was the only way to ensure that we’d capture  the flag, when in actuality they just didn’t want to invest in casevacs,” He said. “Now I come home, after sacrificing my body to get our team the final flag capture, and where’s the support us soldiers need and deserve?” 

While soldiers can find rocket jumping to be problematic long term, not everyone was as critical of the strategy. We spoke with a general who was instrumental in quashing the bill, though he wished to remain anonymous.

“Before the use of the Rocket Jump, soldiers would have to run all the way back from a flag capture point. Now in only a matter of seconds they can soar across the battlefield and back to the safety of their base. To those who say the strategy is flawed, I would say that it’s hard to judge anything when it’s still in its infancy. We are always building and expanding upon strategies and are still working out the kinks of the rocket jump, but for the moment, it’s been a tremendous success,” he said.

 Last post – Tetris Developer Admits Triangle DLC May Have Been Shortsighted 

Advertisements